Why is it so easy to be afraid of looking inside? This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, but this morning, today’s post literally came out of me through my pen like I was a crazy automatic writer from a bad 1970s horror movie!
Here’s just what I want to say.
I understand fear of flying, fear of spider, fear of clowns, fear of crossing busy roads – to me, that’s different.
But this fear of self? It’s an odd one. Since I’ve been actively looking inwards – (instead of filling my life with busyness) – here’s what I think. And this is not all about me, this is about everyone who feels this way.
1. Fear of not being liked. This is a very real fear, especially for someone who’s always been a people pleaser, never wanting to be unliked. So knowing that if I expose the ‘real me’, people may not like me is a really scary thing.
2. Fear of being seen. Though I might have crazy hair, I’m an introvert. I do like to hang out on my own and often keep to myself. That being said, it’s not just ‘fear of being seen’, but ‘fear of being seen differently to the way I’ve always been seen before’. People have preconceived notions. Challenging them can be scary.
3. Fear of what’s inside. What is in there? Maybe there are past hurts. Past shame. Past guilt. Maybe the thought of confronting that is super scary. Sometimes you want to tuck it into a box and hide it under the bed.
4. Fear of the unknown. When you open a door that’s not been opened for a while, who knows what’s behind it?
5. Fear of not being needed. Maybe all the busy work and all the achievements is the only reason people need me. Maybe if I’m not that busy, and not just ‘go go go’ doing everything for myself and for everyone, maybe people won’t need me as much.
I think identifying this fears is half the battle.
The next question to come, for me, is – ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’.
Until next time
P.S. Remember, Banishing Busy starts this Friday. This is for you if you want to get efficient, productive and organised – using concrete tools and methodology – so that you can use the time you regain to get to know yourself and uncover the real you. Just hit reply to this email (or contact me via my website) if you have any questions or interest and I’ll be happy to respond or jump on Skype with you.